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It's been ages since I made any sort of blog post anywhere, I think because the internet culture I started with is so different than what it is today. But the short of it is that a LOT has happened in my life, especially the last few months! Mostly good things.

I've been going through classic young adulthood, from work, school, financial stress, therapy, my dang car breaking down ALL THE TIME... Roommates, dating, friends, so many people coming into and leaving my life. On top of all that I've kept my interests and gained other hobbies- D&D, for a significant one. Ask some of my closest friends. I made a homebrew Dungeons & Dragons campaign based off the Legend of Zelda series that lasted over two years! Not that I've really uploaded the proof of its existence, but there are so many doodles of that campaign and the chaos my friends caused, that it puts all of my other doodle dumps to shame.

So where's the evidence of me being around? Why am I not uploading much at all? I had a good burst of activity this year compared to others thanks to Splatoon 3, and I still consistently create. The answer to my online presence shrinking is something that's taken me genuine years to figure out. Why do I create in the first place?

I want my art to make others feel human.

Since I started going to school for art, I've put a stress on myself to make more than pretty pictures. I don't want it to be another digital piece that looks gorgeous- I want it to have content. I want it to invoke an emotion- thoughtfulness, wonder, anxiety, rage, everything that makes us human. There's no wonder AI is threatening to replace artists everywhere- there's so much art that only gets passed around if it's conventionally pretty (obviously this is an issue I'm poking at the tip of the iceberg for). And sure, I don't mind if my art makes for a pretty picture, or if only my pretty art becomes my more famous work. But that's not what I want to focus on.

I think another factor of my silence is DeviantArt itself. I joined this site on my 13th birthday (like the boring rule-abiding goody-two-shoes I was haha). Back in 2011 things were so different. There was an energy to every new watcher; an excitement. People associated the DA point currency as 1=$1 so commissions flourished (it was actually 1p=$0.01, but that's an economics lesson for later). I made so many friends like myself so fast! A bunch of troubled teenagers across the world who loved Sonic and Pokemon and eventually Steven Universe and Splatoon. Skype became Discord. DA and Tumblr were closely tied together, especially when Homestuck came out.

Now DeviantArt has a reputation for barely being deviant. The AI jokes surrounding the site are true. The other day I was doodling something, looked up mage cat girls (mind yo business), and most of it was AI adopts posted by deviants. AI art makes for great references once you look past the girls having 3 cat ears. It's not completely DA's fault that it's lost traction, although it probably could have handled things differently as times changed. Now all the artists I've followed moved to Twitter, or Instagram, or stuck with Tumblr, or completely vanished. I can't blame them.

Back to the original topic, where does this thought process take me? The art that I've been creating since going to school has been immensely thoughtful, although not exactly what would do numbers on the internet. I might upload them sometime, but not here. I've made too solid of a name for myself as a Splatoon artist. But then what do I do? Separate accounts for personal portfolio vs goofy fandom works? I've deeply considered leaving DA, but haven't acted on it. It's not like I have anything prepared to build a new profile somewhere with. I don't know the first thing about most of these sites.

I've also been considering how I want to make my art. Sure, I'm a wizard with Photoshop, but if I want to be a storyboard artist, then I better make some stories. I've had a Splatoon comic in my mind for... jeez, a few years now. Maybe I'll find a way that's not as time-consuming to do it. I keep myself very busy haha.

Wrapping up now (because I can write FOREVER), I want to express my thanks to everyone who's read this, or even just skipped to the end. I've always loved making others happy with my art, and seeing familiar usernames pop up favoriting my art means the world to me. Your support keeps me going! I'll make it very public if I move my art somewhere else. Ya girl ain't dead, she's just pondering the meaning of how art ties to humanity, and what separates pretty pictures from masterpieces.

Alyssa

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